Humankind- Be both.

This saying is all over my middle son's school. And it always makes me laugh when I see it.

Through most of my life, I have not trusted people, or let them too close to me for fear of getting hurt. It has been my experience that people will let you down and hurt you. And its a cycle that feeds itself. I, on occasion, can be persuaded to drop my guard and trust. It has sometimes been a very good choice and I have been rewarded greatly. But its very difficult to persuade me. And while I will tell people to try to have a little faith in people, I do so hypocritically. Even through this experience I have cried several times for the really horrible things people have to go through and the tortured lives they have endured. That the people who were supposed to save them from the boogyman, become the monster themselves. I am still not ready to truly evaluate my opinion on people. I recognize it probably needs to be changed alot, however I am not strong enough to think about it completely yet.
What I will acknowledge now is how truly wonderful people can be. I have been completely overwhelmed by the generosity and thoughtfulness of people, most of whom I have never met. If this had been someone else's family, my heart would have broken for them, I would have thought "I wish there was something I could do" and I would have prayed for them. But other than that, I would not have reached out to them in the way that people have reached out to me. I have been truly humbled. It isn't just the friends I had from way back that still care and I didnt realize, or the good people I surround myself with daily, although they shine brighter now too. It is true strangers, stopping by to drop off a meal, or a random card in the mail. Or an offer to help with the memorial or other details that people shouldnt have to worry about during a tragedy. I hope that in the future, it will make me a better person, that I will remember to reach out, to do something, because it reminds you that the world isnt all bad. That one person can make a difference.
I listened to so many stories about how my son affected other peoples lives, sometimes by just a smile or silly joke. He had no idea of the lives he affected. How many days he made better for someone else. It inspires me to realize how we can touch peoples lives in a positive way through small acts of kindness and humor (for the record, I will always prefer the latter). I also came to realize that as we grow older, we forget to express how we feel and lose our ability to feel like we can impact our world. And I think that is so very unfortunate. We need to reclaim that. We need to not let life beat us down and make us feel helpless and alone.
I have been completely blown away by our youth with their caring, thoughtfulness, creativity and ability to express themselves. Never would I have believed that these loud-mouthed, arrogant, idealistic young people (remember, that's what we were not so long ago) could be so compassionate, caring, funny people and have the maturity to express how they feel. It was really enlightening to see this in their young faces and hear it in their words. I will be proud to hand over the world to the next generation! Perhaps they have something to teach us, if we would only listen!